Men and Women

Let's get back to women. Women do things that I will never in my life understand. They go to the bathroom in groups. Why? I don't understand that.

I've heard answers from I need someone for protection, company, companionship. But the true reason is that they like to talk to each other. Which is why men don't get that. The last thing men do in the restroom is chitchat. It just isn't done.

Women have no idea what we go through. There is pressure in the men's room. There are rules in the men's room. For example, if a guy walks into the restroom and there's a bank of six urinals and there is one guy on the far left side he has to take the urinal on the far right side. Otherwise he's gay. There's no looking around, there is no talking.

Women on the other hand, get furniture. It's like a condo in there. Do you really need a couch? Is it that exhausting a process for you? "Oh I just tinkled. I need to sit down. I need to take a nap." Men are retarded, women are psycho. More to come...

How about men?

I guess it's time to switch up a little bit and talk about men for change.

We are all retarded. We know this. In fact if it weren't for women in our lives we would all die at the age of 30 simply from eating Carl's Junior for every single meal.

We wouldn't know how to dress, we wouldn't know anything. I don't even know what I like anymore. Even now when I go out to dinner with Heather the waitress comes up and says "What would you like?" I look at my wife and say "I don't know honey what do I like? I have no clue.


We've been married for 12 years now. I haven't bought a piece of clothing or shoes in 12 years. I don't blame her. I can't be trusted. I buy the wrong colors, the wrong styles and I pay way too much money. Why? Because I'm retarded.

Honesty Continued…

So I hope yesterday's blog didn't upset any ladies. But let me just ask you this question: when you ask your man "Do these pants make me look fat?" Do you really expect an honest answer? And what would you do to him if you gave you one?

When my wife is getting ready to go somewhere, she will always ask me "Which outfit do you think is better?" I stare at her in silence, knowing that whichever one I choose is going to be the wrong choice. Not only that, when I do give her an answer, she always tells me "Be honest with me". Sorry, I've learned from experience, you just can't do that.

Facebook | Jerry Mabbott

Facebook | Jerry Mabbott

OK, here goes...

Women claim to want honesty. I throw the flag on that one. There are many examples; here are a few.

If you're out with your woman, and she sees another woman she knows, she is likely to greet that woman with a warm, friendly acknowledgement, perhaps even a hug. The man, being completely clueless, also greets the woman warmly, including a hug. afterward, your woman says "Why did you hug that witch?!?!?" You, shocked, say "Well, you hugged her!" She replies "I hate her!"

Men are honest. If we meet up with a guy we don't like, we say will choose a phrase that honestly suits the feelings for one another, and he'll do the same - and we're on our way. No hugs.

More to come...